An undisclosed trip and two new friends (photos)

Hi.

I took a trip last weekend out of Rabat. I can’t say where I went because I may have broken a rule of my program by going. I’ll say that it was a wonderful time with beautiful people.

Instead, I’m going to talk about two of my best friends from the program. Their names are Sadia and Ella. I guess the friendship technically started week two in the Sahara desert. After a group dance party and a guitar circle on the dunes, the three of us didn’t want to go back to our tents. So Sadia went and fetched blankets and we slept under the stars. UFOs visited us in the middle of the night, that isn’t a joke.

It really became a bond the first week of ISJ though, when Ella and Sadia came to meet my Moroccan partner and I in the south. Ella met us in Mirleft, Sadia met us 2 days later in Agadir. We all went to Essaouira and Marrakech together. We found similarities: a love of literature and writing, we nodded in agreement more often than not and let Ella choose the movies. We spend a lot of time watching movies. Sadia and I watched a film called Samsara last night. It was awesome. It was shot on a 70mm camera which “is unheard of in movie making” according to my film/camera-expert friend JP. It’s basically Planet Earth about humanity and there’s no narration. It’s wild.

Now I’ll tell you about them.

Sadia wants you to be happy, comfortable. I called her during the first night of ISJ. I was angry and frustrated about how things were going and I called her because it just made sense. She’s short and clumsy (she’ll be the first to admit). She finds the good in everything and everyone. People call her when they want to be invited. I think Sadia may have embraced Morocco more than anyone on our program. She didn’t look around for homely comfort or force the country to adapt to her but let her self grow into it. She has made Moroccan friends, good ones, meaningful ones because that’s the type of girl she is, one that people want to know and one that wants to know people. What I think impresses me the most is how well she knows what must be taken seriously and her understanding that so many of our everyday worries and concerns are meshi muskil (no problem) at all. She’s so good at this though that people are always turning to her and she’s so nice that she rarely turns them away so they keep coming back and I think she sometimes forgets about herself. That’s not to say she isn’t in pursuit of her own hopes and dreams, believe me she is. But she is so willing and happy to say yes to others that she starts saying no to herself. 

Ella knows what she wants, she isn’t afraid to share it, she doesn’t always do so kindly. She is complicated (she’ll be the first to admit) but it fits her well. A lot of things fit her well. She is someone who can literally try on any piece of clothing, no matter how wild or elegant, simple or intricate, and stun. I don’t think it’s her beauty (although she is beautiful, both of my Morocco friends are), I think it’s something she got while growing up around the world. She was born in Chicago, she has lived in Haiti and Poland and North Carolina, she got a tattoo in Barcelona and don’t get her started on how much she loves South Africa. She speaks French, English, Polish, some Spanish and shuuuuiiiiiyyya Arabia. Everything she does seems effortless, she pulls everything off. She’s well-read, writes wonderfully, does interesting things and tells you the story, she’ll party or chill better than you can. And the craziest part is that she gives so little effort pulling all this off (and pulling it off well) that she doesn’t even know she has it. Ella: a young woman so naturally amazing, she doesn’t realize it at all.      

It’s funny how that happens. How sometimes our greatest attributes become detriments. It happens to everyone I think. It absolutely happens to me. I see the big picture well. I find myself taking leadership roles, it comes naturally to me. I can move people through things because they listen to me (for whatever reason) and it doesn’t bother me that they do. I like the attention, I like being listened to. I like seeing the end goal and coming up with a plan to get there. I am a camp counselor. But, sometimes I spend so much time looking and thinking big picture, I forget entirely about the small one. I spend hours thinking about what’s going to happen, what could happen, what if this happens? or that? Then what will I do? and then those hours are lost and I’m left in the same place and position I was in. I’ve wasted weeks of my life worrying. Morocco has changed this quite a bit. I still worry, but it’s different, it’s good worrying, healthy worrying. And now, when I feel concern creeping, I’ll see Sadia’s right eyebrow drop behind the frame of her glasses, her face scrunch like what the hell?, I’ll see her shoulder shrug and she’ll ask if it’s really worth it. I’ll remember the joy Ella got when she learned the dress she was trying on could be worn three different ways or her fits of laughter when the 3L Mega Mojito was delivered to our table. I’ll remember how much she loves these little everyday occurrences and know that she’s right for aren’t these what we live for?

Sadia goes home tomorrow. I don’t think I mentioned it earlier but she is Pakistani, from Karachi, and wasn’t able to get a visa for more than three months. It will be a sad goodbye. Ella and I will go through withdrawal. I’ll try to keep count of the times we say “dude, I wish Sadia was here” or “Sadia would love this” or “screw this man, let’s go to Karachi.”    

Open a second tab on the internet. Play this song: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKHiDT_dzYY

Wait for the beat to come. Seriously wait for it. Okay, now tap your foot. Bob your head. This is a lot like our friendship. We go with it. We bob our heads too, like river rock beat dull, I shouldn’t say dull, we are anything but. We do this thing sometimes together. We open a fresh page, we have one pen, it takes turns with us. We write what we want, what we feel, a man is sitting outside a train station, and you just have to roll with it. Whatever punch or kiss or emotion the person before you left on the page, you let it take you somewhere and you write that place down. Like a river rock beat crazy. Sharp peaks and valleys and snow. Maybe that’s why we get along. We let each other. With a ballpoint pen and a worn white page. We like the way it feels, bobbing your head, tapping your foot, you can’t stop it, you have no control, you have to say yes to what’s on that page, it makes having no control feel kind of good.

I guess I should thank them but it feels strange to because none of us really did much to deserve thanks. It just sort of happened. Sadia made sure we were happy; Ella kept us cool, interesting, mysterious; I knew the plan, what time the train left, how we would make it happen. Our friendship grew from this, how unforced it all felt. I was happy. I think Sadia and Ella were too. I wish them both all the best, seriously, they've done more for me than they'll ever know. And so my dear friends, thanks for not trying too hard, thanks for just letting it happen, rolling with it, bobbing your heads and tapping your toe and teaching me how nice a feeling that is. Until next time.

Sadia (left) and Ella in Marrakech. Photo credit: yours truly

Sadia and I on a bus. Photo credit: Mark Minton